grin and bear it
this is great ... i've been enjoying reading all the other bearblog peoples' post vis RSS, but i don't know how i would even find them otherwise. and there's no replies! i can write like no one's watching, because i will never know if they are. i guess if my Military Chevron Sigil count goes up, that's the only way.
i worked at a hypercorporation for 21 years and had to resign last month. don't worry, i worked in a boring corner of the business, though there were some cool moments during the first Obama term i guess. but the work was enjoyable for a really long time, honestly right up until i found out i had to resign, more or less.
but now i think i'm realizing something, or deciding something i might want to continue believing: imposter syndrome is totally real. but sometimes it's the opposite of what they say, in a professional environment.
for me, i think i had the feeling of imposter syndrome from early on, because i got recruited by a company that got acquired and then the hypercorporation acquired the second company, and i had no idea what i was doing at the beginning.
by the end, i basically did know what i was doing, according to basically all my colleagues and very senior engineers. but i am pretty sure i had the other kind of imposter syndrome. the kind where it's clear that to proceed on some sort of legible upward career journey, you have to become an imposter, and i am terrible at that.
side note. i still always want to spell "imposter" as "impostor." is it because of Elvis Costello? don't answer that